Flagrancy of thought

Flagrancy of thought

Once your start huffing you know you've hit it.
In fact, I am quite sure I can
pinpoint just exactly
when I heard the clank
of myself
hitting the bottom.

Alcohol was lost on me then.
So, apparently, I was a late
bloomer.
But, alcohol was something that
cheerleaders loved to flirt with
and jocks abused.

It was that tame pathetic shit that girls gave in to.
To con themselves into going down on their boyfriends
and the
boyfriends,
in turn,
would not feel so bad about it.

In my world, that seemed tame.

Any fuck up wannabee can get off with
alcohol.
Alcohol was the bitch of parties and a life that
wasn't mine.

Alcohol was THE enemy.
Alcohol would come later, of course.

In dark alleys where bums
would down on bums.

And alcohol filled the gaps
between shoot ups and come downs.
And life was all the more desolate.

But that was years away.
And I had business to attend to
in high school, being the lab assistant
and all.
I had free range over
the chemistry lab closet.

Bottles containing Heptane and Ether were made
just
for
me
And stealing a bit off the top
to get through the day made sense.

Alcohol wore off, over time.
It made you irresponsible.
But a good huff would keep you on track
You just had to do it right.
---
Take out the hanky and breathe deep.
But be mindful enough to not pass out,
And the worries slip away.

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